G’day mates. If you’ve found your way to this blog, you’re after some tips about how to be a fair dinkin’ Aussie bloke or sheila. Well look no further, because we are going to do a crash course that will make you more Australian than Crocodile Dundee! Courtesy of Budget Apartments, located in Perth, WA.
Don’t learn the second verse.
In World War Two, American soldiers used to employ tactics to flush out German spies within their ranks. One of the most popular methods was to ask what the second verse of the Star Spangled Banner was. Americans never knew. Germans did. The same applies to Advance Australia Fair, our national anthem. Any Aussie can belt out the first verse with a considerable amount of gusto, but will mumble their way through the second. Every time I hear someone falter when the lyrics get to ‘beneath our radiant southern cross’, it makes me bloody proud to be an Australian. However, if I heard anyone sing it word perfect, I wouldn’t consider them to be a true-blue Aussie. In fact, I’d be so suspicious that I would report them to ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation).
Anyone who grew up in Australia will be familiar with vegemite. It’s a stable of our diet, a cornerstone of our great and prosperous culture. Not only will you find a jar in every household, but you’ll be hard pressed to find an Australian who doesn’t know the vegemite song by heart.
So what exactly is it? It is a dark brown paste that is spread on toast. It is made from yeast extract, vegetables, and some spices. But we warned, this Australian delicacy is an acquired taste. Most people from overseas who try it for the first time think it’s revolting.
If you get to a point where it doesn’t make you dry-retch, I suggest chucking some cheese on top and putting it under the grill – yummy!
Footy isn’t really footy
It’s highly likely that you come from a part of the world that considers football the game with the round ball. Well, we call that soccer. What we refer to as football is a rough-as-guts game called the Australian Football League (AFL) that involves an oval shaped ball and posts the players try to kick it through. But it’s more than just that. Players frequently collide, jump on top of each other, and tackle aggressively, all in an attempt to get the ball. And get this – they don’t use any protection. No padding, no helmets, nothing. As you can imagine, the rate of injuries is quite high, but that just makes it even more exciting.
Beating inside every Australian is the heart of the larrikin. For those you who are not familiar with this word, it means someone who is mischievous. And we are. Aussies are some of the cheekiest people you will ever meet. We love nothing more than making sarcastic jokes about each other. People from distant shores may perceive this as being unnecessarily rude. What they don’t know is that we are probably doing it because we like the person. If an Aussie makes a joke at your expense, you’ve found yourself a best mate.
When we are not making fun of one another, we are doing it to ourselves. You would think, by listening to our self depreciating sense of humour, that we are a nation of depressives. But we are not – we just try not to take ourselves too seriously.
We are not every cliché
Films and televisions shows have given the wrong impression of what Australians are like. It is important to differentiate fact from fiction if you want to be a legitimate Aussie. To begin with, no one drinks Fosters beer in Australia. Drinking one will immediately give you away as a foreigner.
Yes, many of us are descendants of British convicts. Most of the convicts were sent over here for petty theft. For something as basic as stealing a loaf of bread, they would be shipped from England, a country that has some of the most miserable weather on the planet, to Australia, which enjoys gorgeous weather most days of the year. Hang on a second, is that supposed to be a punishment? Sounds like a holiday to me.
Another thing you ought to know is that we don’t ride kangaroos to work. However, we do eat them. You might think it’s weird to eat your nation emblem, but then again you haven’t tried a medium-rare kangaroo fillet with plum sauce. It’s delicious.
I hope this has given you a glimpse into the Australian psyche. If you have any questions about being an Aussie, leave them in the comment section below.